Breastfeeding: What a Surprise & Disappointment

Well, I will first start out by saying I was one of those moms that said breastfeeding just wasn’t for me. Not that I had anything wrong with it or anything. I give all breastfeeding moms so much credit for sticking with it. To my surprise after having my third child I was asked if I was going to breastfeed within seconds of having him. To my surprise I hesitated, and didn’t say no right away. I had this sudden urge to try it. But I didn’t because I was concerned. Why you ask? Well, because my other two sons had reflux and a milk protein allergy. I wasn’t sure if breastfeeding was the right choice. I just assumed Jake would have it too. So after discussing it with our pediatrician and gastroenterologist I decided to give it a try. Unfortunately this wasn’t until a day after my milk came in.

Thankfully Jake was a pro at latching but the little stinker would suck for a good 5 minutes and then just fall asleep and use me as a pacifier. I went right out a got a pump because it was recommended especially because I started 4 days later.

To my disappointment breastfeeding didn’t work out for me. It was a long 4 weeks of trying every piece of advice given, including help from a breastfeeding consultant. My supply just wouldn’t increase and my little guy was very hungry. It was very disappointing and depressing to finally make the decision to stop. You feel like a failure. Why can so many other women do it and have everything go well. It was the best decision I could have made at the time but very hard.

It is a bonding experience that I never understood until I tried it. But for something that seems so natural, it just isn’t the case. For some women maybe, but for many who do or don’t succeed, it takes time and a whole lot of effort.

No one tells you about how your nipples get sore, can crack, and/or have a blocked duct. It can be so time consuming in the beginning but from what I have been told it gets easier. The worrying if you baby is getting enough. And seeing the scale go down not up. Thinking back I can remember a typical days was: wake up, breastfeed, give baby formula (he lost weight & it was obvious he wasn’t getting enough), pump, and then have about 30 minutes before everything started all over again. Holy moly!!! I can also remember when my husband mistakenly dumped out 1-2oz of breastmilk, if that, right down the drain. I’m sure you get imagine the outcome!!

I don’t think it helped that I decided to try with my third and had a 2 and 4 year old running all over the place. I can remember having both of my boys staring at me while I pumped. They were very interested. They were so interested, that one day I found them playing tug of war with my pump actually on and also putting it up to their own chests saying “We’re pumping our boobs like you mommy.” At least I did get a laugh or two.

All in all, I am glad I tried breastfeeding. I only wish it would have worked out better. So for all the mothers struggling with breastfeeding, I commend you. All you can do is your very best. If it works great, but you are certainly not a failure it you decide to stop. What’s most important is that you and your baby are happy and healthy.

Don’t Forget to stop by Friday for more on Breastfeeding! (Advice & Tips from an experienced mommy)

This entry was posted in 1st Year Challenges, breastfeeding, new mom. Bookmark the permalink.

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