Writer’s Workshop – I Truly Wish I Could Forget…

It’s Thursday once again. 
Do you know what time it is?

Writer’s Workshop Courtsey of Mama Kat from

Prompt #4
 Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.
&
Prompt # 1
 Describe something you’re proud of.

I am by no means perfect.  So with that said I have quite a few memories, down right dumb decisions, and not so great moments I would LOVE to simply erase from my memory.  Moments that may have even happen many years ago that I can clearly still remember like it was yesterday.  One in particular that comes to my head is one in which I don’t talk about often.  It is one that changed me and probably will never completely go away.
I can’t quite pinpoint when it first began to the specific day but I do remember it happen my sophomore year of high school.  I’m sure your thinking “What could it be?”
It was the day I looked in the mirror and thought I didn’t look like and by no means would ever measure up to the typical body image society regularly threw in my face as a teenager. 
I do remember a specific time when I was on my high school dance team.  We were a very competitive team and the only high school team in our area.  We were very well know for regularly winning competitons.  I can remember one day at practice, they brought up weight, the possibility of being weighed, and that some girls may have to lose weight if they wanted to be the one competing.   That possibility terrified me.  I also tried modeling around the same time and I was too short and needed to lose weight.  I was 5’3 and 115lbs. 
And so my eatting disorder began.  I became bulimic.  Terrified of gaining weight and never liking what I saw in the mirror.  No one ever knew nor do I believe anyone suspected anything.  It lasted about 6 years.  Until one day I just couldn’t do it anymore.
 It was a very hard struggle.  I sought out help but all they wanted to do is look at family history and that had nothing to do with it.  I new I had to make a choice for myself and no one could truly tell me how to do it.  I regularly had to distract myself from thoughts and remind myself that those ideal perfect body images, just weren’t the ideal.
And I have come to terms with the fact that it’s something that never is completely erased from your memory.  Although, I really wish it was.  I am older, wiser, and stronger than I have ever been.  I am no longer bulimic and haven’t been for 8 years.  But the thoughts are still there sometimes, and that distorted body image just never truly disappears.
I am proud of myself.  The fact that I was able to get through such a hard time and more importantly have the strength to overcome it all on my own.   
I feel this is a topic that is important to discuss.  Because unfortunately that are more young girls out there that are going through what I did, if not worse.  This IDEAL body image our society still continues to protray really needs to change.  I truly hope it does and I want to be apart of it!!!
For more information or to read more
 Writer’s Workshop posts
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4 Responses to Writer’s Workshop – I Truly Wish I Could Forget…

  1. Mama Kat says:

    Wow! That's scary…it's so easy to be influenced by what others think we're supposed to look like. Raising girls definitely has me thinking about what images they are exposed to and how they are perceived. Were there any effects on your health after being bulimic for so long?

  2. It is sad how teens feel they need to look a certain way and get overly concerned about their weight sometimes. Glad you were able to overcome this, no wonder you'd like to forget!

  3. It's tough being female in our society. Unfortunately, I think that most girls and women have issues with their body. In this sexed up society of ours it's impossible not to. It needs to change, but I hate to say that I don't see it happening any too soon.Now that I have a daughter I try to be aware of the things I say about myself regarding my looks, weight, etc. It's hard. It's like we are programmed to look in the mirror criticize ourselves.What can we do??

  4. I also struggled with bulimia. It started around 10th or 11th grade and didn't get really bad until my college years. I didn't really stop until I was pregnaunt with my daughter and fought the temptation to revert back to distructive weight management for years after that. It wasn't until I met the man in my life currently that I really felt comfortable in my own body. Sad, really!As far as long term effects, there is some throat damage, as well as tooth enamel loss due to the constant stomach acid in your mouth and throat. Also, your risk for heart problems is increased.

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